I didn’t realize how spoiled I was until I had a baby. I don’t mean spoiled in the common sense of the word but spoiled in love. Spoiled by my immediate and extended family. Cousins were down the street, my grandma a 3 minute drive, and I could pick up 5 other cousins along the way. We were so close literally and figuratively.

Fastforward.. I move to the bay area. I’m not exactly around the corner but I’m not far either. It took me awhile to get use to the city life. I was back home every weekend. Baby shower? I’m there. Wedding? Count me in. Uncles 50th birthday? What should I bring?

Side note: how freaking handsome is Chris Evans!? My oh my.

Well.. I guess I had this grand illusion that once I had my baby everyone would be dying to come over to hang out with us. Not so much. I always have to go to them.

My anxiety goes through the roof when the baby cries. Especially in the car. And even worse when I’m alone. I feel like I’m torturing him. No one seems to care. They think it’s easy packing up every damn thing he needs. Taking him out of his routine. Having him in the car for at least an hour and a half. Maybe I’m making a bigger deal of it than it really is and sure people do it all the time… but it’s just not that easy for me.

Easter came… our family hasn’t done anything for years … we had a dry spell and there weren’t any little kids. Or at least the family with little kids got together and didn’t tell the rest. I thought I’d head out that way but the aforementioned issues kept me from going. My mom said she was going to come visit. Did she? No. Why? Traffic. And some other lame fucking excuse. What was she doing the weekend before? She was in Monterey. Did she stop by? Did she even tell me? Was she even worried about traffic then? But the worst part is SHE PASSES US ON HER WAY HOME!!!!!!!!!

I’m so over it.

Well… my mom is headed out to Hawaii and all of a sudden she wants to come visit. Why? Because she needs a ride to the airport. Because it’s convenient for her. Because it’s the cheapest option possible. I’m so angry about it. I’m trying my best to hold it back and not lash out. I think what I’ll do is just not go back home for awhile. Just can’t do it. I’m not putting my baby through that. If they love and miss him as much as they say they do then they can get their lazy asses to come this way.

End rant.


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